Our Husband Collection
by Fluffys-concubines
Summary: Chocolate prozac, diet coke, no sleep, and a pack of gum... prepare yourself for insaneness beyond your comprehension. Kweh.


Our Husband Collection  
  
a/n: this was written by me and my friend, we are very hyper and have just started our newly formed "Husband Collection". Please excuse any unapparent madness, because we are not liable for our actions during the period of time when we have consumed an entire box of chocolate covered prozac.   
  
@_____________________________@ weeeeeeee!!!!  
  
P.S. if you are offended, please insert your head into the toilet and press "F-L-U-S-H". That is all.  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own our husbands, but we could kidnap them if we really wanted to. So watch out, sexy mons! =^_^= mew!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ----fancy border that we designed ourselves!! Aren't we creative?! (By the way, that's copyrighted, so *HISS*)  
  
Kweh ^-^ Chocobos are cute! And mighty satisfied!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Tomoyo and Ayame (the crazy sesshomaru/naraku/auron/ansem/shuyin/baralai/gippal/tidus/ayame sohma/sanosuke/kenshin/ sephiroth/rikimaru/cloud/raditz/trunks/legato/riku(the guy from Kingdom Hearts, NOT the girl)/sagara/khotsomoto(a non-anime guy! Holy crap! He's actually real!!!!)/vash/miroku/non-crazy seymour/rath/thatz/rune rabid fangirls) were walking calmly down the street(hard to believe, but true). They suddenly ran into their friend, Emily, who reccommended where to find the latest "Bishounens: Undressed and Uncut" website online. The two psychotic fangirls immediately screamed wildly and ran to the nearest computer, which happened to be at the local library. Oblivious to the wild stares of the librarians and nerds who did not know what "anime" or "naked guys" was, Tomoyo, who happened to be an excellent hacker, and Ayame, who happened to *cough* "know" (I mean "guess") where the more "adult-like-but-really-teenage-rabid-fangirl-like" materials were...hee hee hee...found their special website (YAAAAYYY!!! THANK YOU EMILY!!)  
  
Amused, and overwhelmed by the millions of bishies undressed and uncut, Tomoyo and Ayame began to drool like hungry wolves. Convinced that the carpet was going to be ruined, one of the librarians decided to fetch several buckets. But when she found out what they were doing, she attempted to launch a verbal assault and to pull the computer's plug. Doing that highly offended and repulsed Tomoyo and Ayame, and they immediately launched themselves into full youkai demons, with glowing red eyes, white hair, and fangs. The librarian could not know what was coming next, but she took her stupid little clicky heels and ran as fast as she could. Tomoyo and Ayame, however, did not relent their fierce attack on the unfortunate woman, and sicked themselves upon her while a heavy bloodspray appeared through the air, caused from the slashing of her heart and most of her internal organs. I wouldn't know what they are called, because I am not a doctor, so sue me, but really, I would prefer if you stuck your heads in the toilet and flushed. That is a much more satisfying option to Tomoyo and Ayame.  
  
Moving on...  
  
Ayame and Tomoyo, satisfied and coated in congealing blood, returned to the computer, only to find it had been turned off, but, calmly and normally, rebooted it and began their bishie search again. Once they reached the website that they had "never seen before in their lives, they swear", they clicked repeatedly and impatientely upon the archives of pictures about Sesshomaru and Naraku: Explicit Content (yummy yummy drool drool kweh kweh). Much to their suprise, the librarian has managed to delete the website's pictures. Angry and confused because the hottie's pictures would not load below the waist, (don't you hate it when that happens?!) Ayame and Tomoyo began another frivolous search for Bishounen's Without Pants. Again, every site's pictures would not reveal the prized packages, so, annoyed and angrified (new word!), they went on a storming rampage out on the streets, to further complete their revenge by destroying the hobos around the corner. Tomoyo suddenly had a notion: everyone in the library must die, for they had been witnesses. Glaring evilly, the two girls marched back into the library, and began to ponder how to destroy them all. Ayame, being bloodthirsty, evil in all ways, and the master of large and unusual weaponry, ripped from her pocket, a cannon. Handing Tomoyo a rather large two-in-one flame thrower/oozie, she smiled devilishly, and they began to scream anime-fighting-style. (You know, when their mouths enlarge to three times the normal size and there are frequent scenes when all they do is go: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" and run around in circles, destroying trees and anything else in the way...)   
  
Once the library had been obliterated into nothing more than a pile of ashes and dust, Ayame laughed evilly and Tomoyo began another one of her wild "thinking sprees".   
  
"Oh god no!!!! DON'T ATTEMPT TO THINK, TOMOYO!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! RUN AWAYYYYYYY!!!"  
  
screamed Ayame as she began to back away slowly and carefully. Tomoyo blinked several times, and then replied, "Kweh." Sighing in relief, Ayame said, "Good, I see you're mighty satisfied." Tomoyo nodded with a big grin on her face, and then the two crazies left, having their daily violence fulfilled, but not their daily Naraku/Sesshomaru nude pictures. Their eyes had not been pleased enough, because the librarian, Grrrrr, had very rudely deleted their enlightenment. Having not seen the "surprise in every man's box", *evil giggle laugh laugh know what I mean say no more, kweh* they were mighty angry, and decided that right now, what they needed, was to find somewhere secluded to look at their "special sesshomaru/naraku" magazines alone...hee hee hee...  
  
Finally, they reached a grove of sakura trees, and Tomoyo replied, "It looks so beautiful, so serene, I wish it would last forever." Ayame grinned evilly, removing another "special" toy from her pocket, which happened to be a chainsaw, and replied, "Not for long, it won't! Heh heh heh...I haven't killed enough living things today!!" Tomoyo gasped, and ran to "herd" the trees away. "Run away, my friends! Run! She'll kill you all!" Then, realizing that she really didn't like trees and hated treehuggers immensely, she immediately asked Ayame for a chainsaw. Ayame obliged quickly, and they chopped every last tree down. Although, the damage was not enough to satisfy the girl's need for "the finer things in life:aka, anime men without any pants/shirts on".   
  
After destroying the forest and pissing off nearly every hippie in the United States, including Greenpeace, the girls ran to the nearest person's house, which happened to be Emily's, and barged right in. They said nothing more than a few grunts of "Kweh." and then sat down at her immense computer. Happily, they typed in the websites, while Emily shooed her younger sister away to join them at the monitor. Smiling like fiends, they finally reached the website, whereupon they were able to drool once again over the explicit but very *cute* pictures. In fact, their drool continued to build up until it reached the ceiling, causing the computer to short circuit and electricute the drowning rabid fangirls. Even though they were on their last days, they died knowing that the last thing they ever saw was Sesshomaru and Naraku's "goodies".   
  
The funeral services will be held at the dump, where they will be given a burial at sea alongside the several thousand other dead that resulted from the entire neighborhood's flooding of girl drool. Kweh. No trees were killed in this fanfic, just injured. No no, that's just funny. A few pets got wet, and some fish drowned, but other than that, no one was fatally wounded, except for the three rabid fangirls, their poor computer, and everyone else who lived in the neighborhood. We don't pity them, heck, we didn't even know them! Nor do we care all that much, or ever will. We may seem sad and demented and sick and twisted and evil and wrong and corrupted to you, but hey, at least we girls like pictures of anime GUYS, unlike some of you yaoi freaks who enjoy that perverted type of thing you call "Art". Go back to San Francisco, where you belong, in a pink house next to the beach with your pretty little man-wife named Bobbetta. Just try not to make anyone sick, because then we wouldn't be very happy, and we'd have to rise from the grave and destroy you!!! BUWAHAHAAAAAAA!!!  
  
A/N: Review this! ^-^ It's probably not very funny, but it is 12:38 A.M. over here, and we haven't slept in four days! So give us a freaking break while we argue with the toaster. Just remember that in our last days, we'd have wanted you to say this one simple word,  
  
"Kweh."  
  
And we'd be mighty satisfied.   
  
The End. . . or IS IT?!?!?!?!?!??!?! BUWAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*cough choke*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAA!!! ha ha!  
  
ha...ha...ha..forget it. Kweh. 


End file.
